The Alpha Male
We have heard the term and we can all think of someone who comes to mind. But have you ever wondered what qualities actually make the Alpha Male an Alpha, and therefore a rarity? It’s not just the guy who is tall, strong and rugged (although those are great too). There are certain qualities to look for that make it very clear what makes an Alpha male a leader of the pack. Interestingly enough, when I was doing research for this article I learned there is a VERY thin line between the attributes of the Alpha male and the qualities of an insecure, ‘fangirl’ type of man A.K.A the “fuck boy.”
I have told myself and others that I’m always attracted to the Alpha male. I can’t help it! I seem to always attract and be attracted to the man in the crowd who stands out, who holds himself in a certain manner which makes me feel protected and loved without him even being by my side. I know just how rare this kind of man is to find. After a conversation with a friend the other day about shaving his beard or not [note: bearded men, don’t ever change. A big beard is a beautiful thing in this world], I told him a good beard reminds me of manly man, the Alpha male in many cases. This prompted me to do some research on what exactly is an Alpha male and I found some interesting revelations.
The Alpha male is a man who knows who he is and what he wants and goes after it with confidence. He is not aggressive or hurtful in getting what he wants (those are the bad boys we have all liked at some point or another) but rather he is the good guy with confidence and masculinity that goes after what he wants in a considerate and respectful way. These are the natural leaders of the pack, the man who cares about each person and their individual needs so people want to be around them. Men want to be like them, and girls want to be with them because they hold a sense of confidence not often found.
You see, back in the day, these were the men in charge of their village to protect the women, lead the men, listen to the elderly and make the big decisions that affect everyone. He looked for his ideal partner and didn’t waste time entertaining anyone else. One very important aspect about the Alpha Male is he knows EXACTLY what he wants, and he’s not afraid of it – this is especially important in relationships. He will tell you straight up if he’s looking for sex or looking for love. The majority of Alpha males are looking for love, and they tend to not sleep around often knowing he is exceptional and deserves to have a special woman by his side. He wants a teammate, a partner and would rather sleep alone than sleep with someone just out of loneliness or need for companionship. He will make his feelings and intentions with you VERY clear so you are not confused, you don’t get hurt and you will not be misled. His intention isn’t to be lusted after or waste his time and yours. He seeks only to achieve a goal of finding his partner. He will tell you the qualities of his ideal woman, and when found, he doesn’t stop until he gets the woman of choice.
Men are hunters, it’s in their blood. They go after what and who they want. I hate to break it to you but it’s seriously that black and white. If they want you, you will know it. If they don’t, you will be left scratching your head about their erratic and unclear behaviors.
Studies have shown (I know there are studies for everything these days) that the Alpha male is a dying breed in the age of millennials. Roughly 1 in 10 men are Alphas, and apparently, we are seeing less and less with each generation.
Now the “fuck boy” will exhibit a lot of these qualities as well, or they will appear to have these qualities, but they will do it in a different manner. They want you to lust after them, they want to drive you crazy, they will send you the cryptic messages and call you at 1 AM saying they want to see you. They will send you romantic messages or flirt with you, not so you can feel good but so they can feel good when you show interest. They pursue the partners they think they should have or the partner they want to be seen with because they aren’t about seeing a connection, they are seeking status. If you bring up the future or ask them where this is going, usually it will be turned around on you or you will be made to believe you are ‘one of those crazy girls.’ Their intention isn’t to go through life achieving their goals without hurting anyone, their intention is to get what they want by any means necessary and we all know a few of these guys, even if they are just your funny stupid friend (I have a lot, and I love them – but you guys are being assholes a lot of the time).
So, how does one become an Alpha in 2017? The Alpha male is made. He carries his responsibilities with a sense of duty, he takes charge and makes decisions, and even if he faces failure – he continues to move forward. He is always well planned and works towards his goals – these qualities are all learned.
How do you know if you have found yourself an Alpha male?
He WANTS you, he doesn’t NEED you
First and foremost- he is dating you because he wants you, not because he hates being alone. When he identifies you as the girlfriend who he wants, he will pursue you, and you will know he is interested. There is no second guessing, you are who he wants and you will know it. He is ready to enter a relationship with you because he knows what he has to offer you, and not what he can get from you. He will commit to you and grow with you.
He’s clear and decisive
Let’s just keep this one simple – a man who can make a decision is appealing to women. He knows this, and he always has a plan. His partner can rely on him to make decisions (big or small) and he can confidently make the choice. I am in no way saying he is controlling or doesn’t take his partner’s opinions into consideration because that is what an asshole would do, not an Alpha.
He is also not afraid to say ‘NO’ or ‘I don’t agree with that’.
He has his own life
The Alpha male has things going on. He has goals to be reached, his plans are set and he is not going to change that as soon as he enters into a relationship. HE knows how to have a healthy balance between friends + the girlfriend + everything else in life.
Happy Hunting, Alphas!